Florida Man Abducts Neighbor For Being Loud In Laundry Room

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(HuffPoLeon Thurston, 61, of Vero Beach, Florida, faces kidnapping charges after police say he abducted a neighbor at gunpoint early Sunday morning because he felt she was making too much noise while washing her clothes, according to WESH TV.

Jessica and David Scoville were washing clothes in their laundry room at about 5:30 a.m. when Thurston, their next-door neighbor, appeared in the doorway and said they were being too loud.

Thurston was carrying a handgun and a baton. He allegedly hit David Scoville with the baton twice before grabbing Jessica Scoville by the wrist and taking her from her home, according to WPBF TV.

We’ve all been there. Trying to get some sleep, maybe watching some TV where the commercials are 10 million times louder than the show itself, and the neighbors just won’t pipe down. I know it’s happened to me. For instance: just last week I was trying to get into the sick, twisted mind of George RR Martin (during his weekly HBO snuff film that is Game of Thrones) when what sounded like a Colombian child’s birthday party/rave was going on in the apartment below me. Do you know what I did? I turned on the TV, popped on the closed captioning, and passive aggressively stomped on the floor. Do you know what I didn’t do? Go downstairs and abduct the birthday boy at gunpoint.

To you or I, option 2 might seem like a minor overreaction. Not to Leon Thurston though, that’s a man who places a great deal of value on his morning beauty rest. Apparently felony kidnapping charges are worth that extra half hour of sleep before the alarm goes off. According to all of his neighbors, Leon was a great guy, and that just goes to show how miserable a 5:30AM Sunday wakeup can be.

In parting, while I don’t believe that abduction is the answer in an apartment noise dispute, in Mr. Thurston’s defense, who does laundry at 5:30AM? Savages, that’s who.