This gigantic alligator is proof that evolution exists

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ABC4 – An 800-pound alligator has been captured in South Carolina, one of the largest caught in the state in recent years.

The Times and Democrat of Orangeburg reports that Jonathan Smith and finance Melissa Davis pulled in the gator after fighting it for hours on Lake Marion last Saturday. It was 12-feet 10-inches long and weighed 806 pounds. Smith and Davis launched their boat near Bell’s Marina in the Eutawville area.

HOLY SHIT that’s a big ass alligator. It’s safe to say that between this guy here and our friend with the freezer the other day, I am going to go ahead and cross the Carolina’s right off the list of places to visit. Sorry Charlotte, you’re pretty cool and all, but I will gladly cut off the nose to spite the face in this scenario. Everyone in Charlotte is from Buffalo anyway, and that’s a much shorter drive.

Evolution truthers have got to be the dumbest people alive. Put aside all of the “scientific evidence” and “indisputable facts.” You can’t sit there and tell me that this behemoth is not a DIRECT descendant of the dinosaurs. The Big Guy did not create these bad boys 2000 years ago. These things are straight up Land Before Time shit. 806 lbs of pure, unadulterated killing machine.

 

A Massachusetts woman reported trapping a 1,025-pound alligator six years ago while a 755-pound gator was caught last year – both on Lake Marion.

Forget Mexico, Donald, go ahead and put a wall up around Lake Marion, just make sure they don’t staff it with Disney employees.

Now, we don’t know exactly how big this gator was, since it’s an inexact practice…

Jay Butfiloski of the Department of Natural Resources says there’s no official listing of the largest alligators caught in the state. He says some people estimate the sizes and weighing the large animals is an inexact science.

Thanks for the help, Jay. I don’t care that you can’t put an exact number on it. Here I can help. It’s big enough to kill you and no one will ever find your eaten body. That exact enough for you?

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3 thoughts on “This gigantic alligator is proof that evolution exists

  1. Pingback: This gigantic alligator is proof that evolution exists — The Web Dump |

  2. We have seen some massive gators in Hell Hole & Four Hole Swamps and further up the Edisto river near Hog Pen, the Combahee and upper Cooper, especially in and around Beaufort SC…
    And because they’re building townhouses and condo’s further inland in and near our swamps, these creatures are being pushed further down river and why we’re seeing more and more of them coming out of the surfs on our beach’s at Isle of Palms, Edisto and Hunting Island, and have even spotted them in the Big salty near Kiawa sound resting on the banks, something we have never afore seen.
    The more massive gators we’ve spotted are deeper in the swamps and marshes and have had them on two occasions carry our sneak boats some 60 yards from where we were stumpknockin….Possibly on account that we were near their nesting grounds and they pushed us away from them, which is something they’re in the habit of doing, they like bass, don’t like intruders near their nesting grounds and will either eat em or move em.
    I’m here to tell y’all, when you have a boat who’s gunwale is but 4 inches above the water line and only 6′ long, you don’t dare resist and or move around atoll, less you can run hop skip and jump atop water, and or, are a weaponized gator killer mothers son…..

    Like

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