How about this Toronto woman reading on a New Jersey beach that was run over by garbage truck

Pristine, New Jersey Beach, Free of trash

Pristine, New Jersey beach, free of trash

 

THE RECORD – A Canadian woman lying on a New Jersey beach on Wednesday was run over by a truck picking up trash.

Megan Fabieniak, of Toronto, was hospitalized in stable condition with minor injuries to her arm and leg, said Al Della Fave, a spokesperson with the Ocean County prosecutor’s office.

The front wheel of the Ford pickup truck struck her at around 8 a.m. while she was reading by herself on the Ship Bottom beach — near a garbage pail the driver was about to empty — and then the vehicle stopped on top of her, Della Fave said. Her husband was near the water at the time, and no one else was around when the accident occurred.

*Frantically reads to see if this lady died*

Is there anything more fitting than someone being on a beach in New Jersey and getting run over by a garbage truck? If you look in the dictionary next to irony, that’s the image you see (I am most likely using irony incorrectly). I think this should be a lesson to us all. Don’t read when you go to the beach.

You see, a few things happen when you read at the beach. The first thing that happens, is that you probably put in your head-phones (whether you plug them in to your phone or not, thanks Steve Jobs) and your reading comprehension abilities become subpar, as the human brain cannot process two things at once. The second thing that happens is that you look like a giant NERD at the beach. Reading is an inside activity. Not an outside one. You’re outside. Enjoy the beautiful scenery that Mother Nature has created for us all. You don’t see me bringing my plasma and couch to the beach and firing up Xbox, so why are you here doing inside activities.

The other thing the beach is for are beach games and spending time with your friends. People don’t read with friends. If you try telling me that you’re in a book club I’ll answer with this, you are not reading with friends you’re discussing with friends. Want to join a book club and have the club meet at the beach? Fine, but if I catch ANY of you reading and putting yourself at risk of the bodily harm that comes with being run over by a garbage truck, I will kick sand all over your book. You’ve been warned.

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