Marcell Dareus will sit the first four games of 2016 because apparantly no one on this team can stop smoking

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God damnit. Well the good news is that the Buffalo Bills can still go 16-0 and win the Super Bowl. The bad news is just about everything else. With the news that Marcell Dareus will be suspended for the first four games of 2016, it’s beginning to look like the Bills may have some issues. Thank God for that Adolphus Washington pick. It looks like Adolphus may need to put on his big(ger) boy pants and saddle up quicker than expected. Not necessarily a bad thing for him, but not ideal given the circumstances.

How god damn stupid do you have to be to get caught smoking weed during drug test season? They test everybody around training camp time so that they don’t have to pay the drug testers to try and navigate a mine field to get to guys like Jared Allen’s Montana doomsday prepper compound. So, you actually just need to have the self control to not smoke pot for around ONE MONTH. That’s it. If you pass that drug test, you can blaze up all you want for the rest of the year, no questions asked. Shit, you could get high in the locker room at halftime and the league probably would have no idea. Maybe throw a smoking party with Karlos Williams.

‘If a player passes his one test, he won’t be tested again until the next April-August. One former medical personnel called it an “intelligence test, because it’s once a year, and you know it’s coming.” One agent quipped that players sometimes will throw “smoking parties” as soon as their testing is complete.’ – Ben Volin, Boston Globe

At least Marcell Dareus plays a position where being fat can actually benefit you, So we don’t have to worry about that after the first four games. The Ryan boys need to get it together and quickly. Between the injuries and suspensions, the Bills might be strutting out The Replacements by week one, and in this case, that is NOT a good thing.

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One thought on “Marcell Dareus will sit the first four games of 2016 because apparantly no one on this team can stop smoking

  1. Pingback: Ralph Wilson Stadium is now New Era Field, but the fans vow to get just as drunk | The Web Dump

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