(The Guardian) – Rumors of Barack Obama’s particular fondness for almonds have been greatly exaggerated.
Politicos marveled at the president’s discipline after a New York Times articlepublished earlier this month asserted that the commander-in-chief consumes only “seven lightly salted almonds” as a late-night snack, particularly in light of his tour de force speech at the Democratic national convention in Philadelphia on Wednesday night.
The paper sent out a memorable news alert to the piece reading: “After dark, President Obama spends hours alone, time he says is essential to think, write and have a snack – exactly 7 almonds.”
“And this is when Michelle said: ‘Yes, and he just has seven almonds. That’s it.’ To really drive home the point that I needed to loosen up a little bit. And Sam relayed this joke to the New York Times in the article and somehow it was relayed as if I was counting out the seven almonds.”
How can we trust a President that won’t even tell us what he eats for a snack. Is it 7 lightly salted almonds? Is it 8 or 9? Where does it end? This is the man that has the power to start a nuclear war with the push of a button, and here he is lying about the number of almonds that he eats after dark. Is this the man that you want in charge of this country? Say what you want about Donald Trump, but I can guarantee you that he wouldn’t lie about the snacks he eats. He’d speak his mind and tell us that every night he eats a bag and a half of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos (which would account for the orange hue of his leather-like skin). He won’t beat around the cheese-dusted bush.
I demand that Obama release his grocery shopping receipts. We, the American people, will no longer be kept in the dark. Tell us the truth, Mr. President, HOW MANY ALMONDS IS IT?