A brawl broke out in an Upstate NY Walmart over 4th of July weekend


Click here to watch the video

WHAM The Gates Police Department is investigating a fight involving 30 people that broke out inside the Chili Avenue Walmart Sunday night.

Nykia Brooks, 17, of Chili, is charged with assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. Police said she allegedly threw a canned good cutting someone’s forehead.

Gates police said the fight started around 7 p.m. at the front of the Walmart store when one woman made a derogatory comment about another woman’s outfit in the next check out line. Then, others jumped in.

Police said at one point, one group went back to the sporting goods section and picked up bats. Officers took them away before anyone was hurt.

Somewhere, a bald eagle sheds a tear.

If you ever get the chance to visit Rochester, NY, there is a large chance that you’ll notice a rivalry. See there’s a river that divides the city in half, and this river creates a boundary of sorts. The east side, (if you’re familiar with the popular children’s book, the Outsiders) are the Socs. The west side are the greasers, with less lovable characters, and more cars with enormous spoilers. When you venture into a WalMart on the west side, you’re throwing caution to the wind. If the bet thing that happens is you’re cracked in the head with a can of creamed corn, then you consider that a win. Just be happy that the other crew didn’t have time to make it all the way to the sporting goods section and back with a Louisville Slugger before the cops called a rain delay.

There are a few pieces to this fight that stood out to me right away. The lowest of the low hanging fruit being, what’s more american than a WalMart fight on 4th of July weekend?


Did you answer nothing? Then congratulations! You’re correct. Now, when you add in the american flag made out of some sort of canned beverage you get the most American thing of all time.


Next, we have the Abraham Zapruder of Gates, NY:


walmart fight phone guy

He’s the man who’s video most likely lead to an arrest. He doesn’t even flinch as he captures megapixel after megapixel of gory, uncensored combat. This man deserves an oscar for his work on this masterpiece. And most certainly does NOT get two for flinching. I have a feeling that the final footage of this ended up looking like some of the camera angles from Mad Max. He’s a man who puts the arts above his own well being, and we can do nothing but commend him for that.


Finally, we have the law enforcement. Now, I don’t mean Gates PD, because as you see here, they were pretty quick to say “they do NOT pay me enough for this shit” and head out the door:


wal mart cops


No, the man who is attempting to keep the peace throughout all of this, is Walmart greeter number 1 over here:


This man is probably getting paid 4 dollars an hour for doing God’s work on a holiday weekend at a Walmart in Rochester, and yet here we see him jumping to attention to keep the peace, and preserve the safety of the good people in the Land of Rollback Prices. This man risked life and limb so that you, the good people of Gates, can continue to buy T-Bone steaks for 4.99 and cut off t shirts 2 for $6. So the next time you see one of these brave men and women, ask yourself, how can we make it up to the courageous people who patrol our aisles in the name of peace? To think this all started over making fun of someone’s dress. In the words of Bambi “if you don’t have something nice to say, I’m going to bash your face in with non-perishable food items in a Rochester, NY Walmart”….or something like that. 

Editor’s Note: This is written by an East Sider, so take all of this post with a grain of salt.


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