This gin has anti-aging qualities? I’ll take all of it

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(Source) Enter Anti-AGin, created by food and drink alchemists Bompas & Parr on commission from Warner Leisure Hotels. The gin, created “for those that want to do everything they can to stay young, but don’t want to give up alcohol,” is distilled with drinkable collagen and “age defying botanicals” (including chamomile, tea tree, nettle, witch-hazel, and gotu kola). And, according to the gin’s description on Drink Supermarket, it “actually rejuvenates the skin while you drink.”

As someone with terrible skin, I think I speak for everyone when I say that this is an amazing idea. In fact, let’s take it one more step and put collagen in EVERY alcohol. Wine, beer, vodka, all of it. If there were collagen in every drink out there, I’d look like an 84 year old Benjamin Button. Skin smooth like a babies bottom. I stay very hydrated so the only downside I could see to this would be needing to pee constantly, and being drunk all the time (upside?). But, think of the bump in business for the toilet industry! Porcelain manufacturers are going to be pumping out toilets left and right! Did I just fix the economy? I think I did, you’re welcome, Obama.

Now, that being said, gin is gross. I won’t be drinking this special, anti-aging gin. I prefer my alcohol not to taste like pine-needle water. Also it originated in London so to drink it in Boston is probably illegal anyway (not in my house, King George). I may buy a case just to dump in the harbor, unless the Environmental Police are reading this, in which case I will return it politely to the shelf.

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