E-gaming signs a deal with the devil, as Xfinity will sponsor a team

poor-customer-service

(SOURCE) Comcast’s CMCSA -0.24% Xfinity brand is joining the rapidly expanding esports space by way of two new 12-month sponsorships with both the ESL and pro gaming organization Evil Geniuses. ESL is the world’s largest esports tournament host and Evil Geniuses claims to be the world’s best video game team.

R.I.P Evil Geniuses. It was a good run for you at the top of the sports monolith that is E-gaming. Xfinity will be your downfall. Like a band of  awkward, socially isolated Icarus’, you flew too close to the sun, and hubris got the better of you. You signed a deal with the devil. Evil Geniuses will be lucky to be able to play 5 minutes of uninterrupted game time before their internet will stop working, they’ll have to unplug, then replug the router, and wait 45 minutes for it to work again. Or even worse, the self diagnosis doesn’t work, and you’re forced to spend 6 hours on hold waiting for that goddamned recording to figure out that you’re yelling “REPRESENTATIVE” at the top of your lungs.

What I don’t understand is how I don’t have any other options. They’re the only choice in my area. I was under the impression that this was America, and last I checked, monopolies are illegal. Just ask John D. Rockefeller how that worked out for him. So how is it that I am forced into this torture via broadband? Riddle me this.

Back to e-gaming. How about these guys? I thought lacrosse was an easy sport to go pro in. These guys play a sport where their performance enhancing drugs only side effect is a craving for doritos and mountain dew. Hidden in the shadows of e-gaming is a monster that we’re just beginning to see rear its ugly head. We see the NFL dealing with a moral crisis surrounding CTE, when will we get Dr. Will Smith yelling at us about the systematic cover up of the demons of diabetes that these athletes deal with after they retire? How many times do we have to hear about retired e-gamers unable to walk down the aisle at their child’s graduation because they  can’t leave the house without the aid of a forklift? The lessons that one learns while e-gaming are some of the most valuable in life, and they can’t be learned anywhere else, but if this trend continues and the league does nothing about it, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing I let my kids e-game.

This one rambles a bit, so if you’re still reading? Congrats, you’ve passed the test.

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