(SOURCE) On the afternoon of May 12, Mr. Cicero, 40, drove his New York Ice Creamtruck to a favorite spot on 54th Street near Madison Avenue, but he found the pretzel vendor already selling from a cart on the sidewalk there, said Lt. Marco Gonzalez, head of the Midtown North Precinct’s detective squad.
Mr. Cicero and the pretzel man, whose name was not released, entered into a standoff, Lieutenant Gonzalez said: “Both of them mutually thought that the other would make it more difficult for them to conduct business at the location.”
The men exchanged punches, and then Mr. Cicero went to his truck, retrieved the bat and hit the pretzel man twice in the head, causing contusions, Lieutenant Gonzalez said.
A witness got the bat away from Mr. Cicero, who then pulled a knife, menaced the pretzel man and fled in the white-and-purple ice cream truck, the police said.
What is this world coming to? Gang violence floods the streets of New York once again. Someone get Giuliani on the line. This is part of the reason I moved out of that god forsaken wasteland. I want my children to grow up in a city filled with history and clam chowder, not one where they stand the chance of going out for a nice afternoon pretzel, and getting caught in the crossfire between rival Ice Cream Men.
I get that this was a turf dispute. It happens to everyone. Sometimes someone takes my favorite desk in the new open seating office. I hate when this happens, but I don’t bring a bat to work and try to beat anyone over the head with it. I respectfully mope at a new desk until I see a new Facebook post from someone that I hate, at which point I direct all of the blind hate inside me towards them. But I digress. What I don’t get about this situation is how someone attacks a pretzel guy. Everyone loves pretzels. I have never met another human being that doesn’t like a good pretzel. This man is clearly mentally unstable to hold trial, and he should be institutionalized IMMEDIATELY. If it’s proven that he is mentally stable, then send his ass to Riker’s because a lunatic like that doesn’t deserve to be in the streets.
Speaking of the streets, the getaway must have been riveting. ICM runs off and hops into his ice cream truck to speed off, and probably sat in traffic 5 feet from where he started for the next 45 minutes. Not a great decision on his part to take his own ice cream truck either. The only thing sweeter than picturing the deranged ice cream man speeding off but stopping every few feet to sling a couple of more cones. He should just be thankful that the Times Square Characters didn’t smell blood in the water and come looking to scrap.
If there’s one positive that we can take away from all of this, it’s that I have a great new idea for an ice cream flavor. Assaulted Caramel anyone? Ben & Jerry, go ahead and cut me a check now.