Google has some questions to answer if they think I’m going to invest in their flypaper cars

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(Source) The company received a patent Tuesday describing a way to reduce pedestrian injuries in an accident with a robotic vehicle. The impact of the crash, Google suggests, would expose a coating that glues the person to the front of the car.

“The front region of the vehicle may be coated with a specialized adhesive that adheres to a pedestrian, and thus holds the pedestrian on the vehicle in the unfortunate event that the front of the vehicle comes into contact with the pedestrian,” the patent said. “The adhesion of the pedestrian to the vehicle may prevent the pedestrian from bouncing off.”

An eggshell-like layer covering the adhesive would protect the sticky surface during everyday driving, but shatter in an accident to reveal the glue.

I am laughing way too hard at the idea of someone driving around town with a bunch of people stuck to the hood of their car. Like an old person who doesn’t realize when they hit something with a bunch of pedestrians all over their car when they pull up to the bingo hall. This is such a great idea, I’m mad that I didn’t think of it first. Why even wait for Google to roll this out? Go buy some of those sticky mousetraps, and some rubber cement, and glue them all over your car. That’s what we call a Lifehack.

How sticky is this glue going to be? I assume pretty sticky, considering it can keep you from flying off the hood of a car if you’ve been hit. Can a recently hit person pull themselves off without the aid of others? These are all very important questions before we move forward with this plan. I think that Google has lost its vision, and should leave things like this to the experts/people with more time on their hands than they know what to do with.

For that reason, Google, I’m out.

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