Domino’s Pizza Saves Lives

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SALEM, Oregon– A group of Domino’s Pizza workers in Oregon helped save a man’s life over the weekend, police said.
When the employees didn’t hear from one of their regular customers for several days, they sent one of their drivers, Tracey Hamblen, to check on him.
According to KATU, the man didn’t answer the door but the lights and television were on. That’s when Hamblen called 911.
When deputies responded to the man’s home, they heard someone calling for help. They found the man on the ground and in need of medical attention. He’s now in stable condition.
A manager said the customer, Kirk Alexander, 48, has ordered a pizza almost every day for more than 10 years.
This. This is why I order Domino’s without hesitation every Sunday. Do you think Papa John Schnatter* lets Peyton Manning stop massaging his feet long enough to come to your door and save your life? I don’t think so. You think that Mr. Hut would leave his stuffed crust factory to come to your aid as you breathe your dying breath due to what I imagine (given the frequency of Kirk’s orders) to be Type II diabetes? I don’t think so. That’s the Domino’s difference. This guy didn’t even order over the phone! He ordered online! And these wonderful weekend warriors go out of their way to send a driver to his house to make sure that he wasn’t dying…which he totally was, so good on them.

How about Kirk Alexander ordering Domino’s every other day. That’s a little much, and this is coming from a HUGE pizza guy. I live and breathe pizza and could eat it for every meal, but to order from the same pizza shop every other day I’d not only be broke, but also incapable of leaving the house by means other than a forklift. I respect the hustle though. I hope that I can one day eat so much Domino’s that my insides turn to melted mozzarella, and the manager sends a delivery boy to save my life. #RelationshipGoals. 

BONUS: Cheap Pizza Rankings if they were NFL quarterbacks

  1. Domino’s – Tom Brady, The GOAT. Just shows up and wins. Has a great team around him. A contender year in and year out.
  2. Pizza Hut – Cam Newton. Flashy with their stuffed crust. Great defense. Almost there, but can’t quite get the job done.
  3. Papa John’s – Johnny Manziel – Some people loved him, but now everyone is starting to realize that he sucks and has a drug problem. Plus what the hell is the deal with that pepper that comes with the pizza? No one wants the pepper. If i wanted peppers I’d have ordered them on my pizza. FOH Papa John.

*What kind of pizza name is that?

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One thought on “Domino’s Pizza Saves Lives

  1. Pingback: Portland doughnut shop posts the most insensitive job posting that has ever been written | The Web Dump

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