Serena Williams Ate Dog Food

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SOURCE  Serena Williams made herself ill after eating dog food hours before reaching the last eight of the Italian Open. The tennis star tried “a spoonful” of a salmon and rice dish meant for her dog, Chip. In a video posted in full on Snapchat, she said: “Before you judge me, look at it. It looks good.”

Now I’m not doctor, but this strikes me as a bad idea just hours before you’re playing in the Italian Open. I’m not very good at tennis, but even I know that eating dog food before a major tennis tournament is probably not in your best interest. So this brings me to my point…Why?

Serena, in her own defense, came out and said that we shouldn’t judge her because the dog food looked delicious. Well, Serena, I’m going to go ahead and completely judge the shit out of you. I don’t care if Emeril Lagasse is the head chef at the hotel you’re staying at, no dog food looks good enough to eat EVER. Maybe dog cookies. I’ve seen some dog treats that legit look like delicious cookies. Those I get. But not some gourmet fancy feast bullshit. That’s just disgusting. I’d never even eat pâté, a certified human food that by all accounts is delicious, because it looks too much like wet dog food.  So for you to order dog room service, and then eat your dogs food? That’s just cruel and unusual.

I guess all athletes have their pregame rituals though. JJ Watt takes a nap, Jamal Anderson used to drink breast milk, and Serena Williams eats dog food and pukes in her hotel room. I hope the kids at home are taking notes. Want to be the best in your respective sport for years and years? Do some weird shit before the game. It’s a time tested, athlete supported strategy that is guaranteed to work based on this study with a sample size of 3. Eat your dog food kids, we’ve got a long practice ahead of us.

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