Florida Man Allegedly Threw Hot Slice Of Pizza At Roommate

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(HuffPoPolice in Florida say an argument between roommates about pizza ended in alleged simple battery by flying pizza.Treasure Island man Daniel Allen Plunkett, 50, allegedly threw a slice at his female roommate, “striking her in the left hand,” according to an arrest report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

“The pizza was hot,” according to the June 3 arrest report.Police say Plunkett denied throwing the pizza, despite the fact that he “was not wearing a shirt and had pizza sauce on his chest and shorts,” according to the arrest report. Plunkett also claimed the roommate threw pizza at him.

Lock this man up and throw away the key. We can’t have monsters like these on the streets of our great nation. Only a sick, sad excuse for a human being would willingly waste a slice of pizza on a bad roommate.

There needs to be a new amendment to the constitution after the part about defacing money. If you deface a slice of pizza, you should be exiled to North Korea, because you’re no better than the Fearless Leader himself.

P.S. I should mention that this took place in Florida, but I think we all could have assumed that anyway.

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