Deputies say a Sumter County couple has been arrested after they forced their 14-year-old daughter to live in a tent in the woods because she ate a Pop Tart without permission.
Investigators said 33-year-old James Driggers and his 36-year-old wife, Crystal, only gave their daughter a flashlight, a roll of toilet paper, a whistle and a watch and told her she had to stay out in the woods for a week.
Deputies say the parents told the girl she had to meet someone at a fence at specific times to get any food.
Authorities found the girl Friday night, two days into her punishment. She was outside during Thursday night’s severe storms.
The parents are charged with child neglect. It wasn’t known if they had lawyers.
Poptarts are delicious. There’s no two ways around it. They might be the nutrition equivalent of eating a box of sugar cubes, but God damn if they aren’t delicious. The Driggers just did some poor ass parenting.
The real question I have about all of this is though, if you were in little Sally Driggers shoes, do you eat that next pop tart knowing you’ve got to spend a week living in the woods after? My vote is yes. Her parents left her a flashlight, a whistle and some toilet paper. That’s 5 star living as far as woods life is concerned. If you go camping and are lucky enough to have a tent that doesn’t leak, i think that alone might be worth taking that pop tart. I’m willing to eat some woods berries for a week for a taste of that sweet, sweet sugary goodness. Sure they might give you explosive diarrhea, but thats what the TP is for. Plus, all you need to do is drink a little rain water to counteract the dehydration and you’re golden.
P.S. I need to know whether these pop tarts were frosted. If not, skip the woods and exile this girl straight out of the U.S. No one needs a wet blanket like that around.